@kevjrjrart and I met on OkCupid in 2016. I'm from Vancouver, Canada, and he is from Seattle, WA. We both thought of it as a summer fling. My roots are Punjabi, and Kevin's Black American roots span Virginia, Louisiana, and Washington.
This wasn't the first interracial or even intercaste marriage for our family. What made my parents upset was Kevin didn't have a college education and was a single father.
He first introduced me to his grandparents, who raised him. I remember the first New Years' gumbo tradition with the family and his grandfather showing me all the dishes. He said, we don't have a lot of money, but we will make sure you're fed. I'll never forget that.
Kevin proposed to me in Hawaii in the summer of 2019. My dad had already stopped speaking to me when he learned of our plans to get married, but it was the toughest silent treatment imaginable upon coming back home, considering I still lived at home.
I had support from my older cousins and sisters. Most importantly, I had support from my mom. She said something quite powerful to me that I'll never forget. If I mistreat you, disown you or stop talking to you, I give others the permission to treat you the same. She stood by me to protect me from what others would say about me marrying a Black man and becoming a stepmom.
We were married on Nov 23, 2020, in my living room. We had a small civil ceremony to begin immigration and plan a bigger celebration in July. In March 2020, the pandemic happened, and we've been sitting in limbo since. From border closures to backlogged immigration, Kevin and I spent 11 months apart in total. We are yet to celebrate our wedding and fully reunite BUT had some small wins. We finally have wedding pictures, and upon returning home from WA about a week ago to quarantine, I said, "Hi Dad", and he said hello back. Today we are married, and celebrating five years together this summer.
Read ten stories like this one in our recently released book, When We See Ourselves // Black x Brown Love.