My name is Amreet, and my fiancé's name is Luis. I am a British Punjabi
Indian woman born and bred in Coventry, U.K., and Luis is an African-Angolan man who moved to the UK when he was 13. We lived in the UK until last year when we moved to Angola and are now back in the UK.
We met at Secondary School (High School) in 2007, when we were 17. I knew we had a "soul connection" from the moment we met. We went through many obstacles and challenges to be together because being with a Black person was not allowed in my family or community and was not accepted. However, deep down, I knew he was my soul mate, and not being with him wasn't a choice. But it was also crucial for him to be part of my family. However, I also didn't want to lose my family either.
Back then, women in my family in interracial relationships were told to choose between their partner or family. I didn't want this to be the outcome for me. It took a long time (5 years for him to meet my parents), but we eventually broke down barriers, and now my fiancé is accepted and an essential member of my family.
Having been in each other's life for so long, it has been incredible to see how we changed through different stages and ages of our lives—blossoming and continuing our journey together. Learning and embracing each other's cultures, races, religions, languages, traditions, and customs has been fascinating. The main thing that keeps us together is our shared belief system of how we want to live, and we both hold the same values.
We respect each other's paths and our joint paths as a couple.
We are opposite but complete each other.
He's my Yin to my Yang.
In 2022, I decided I wanted to help South Asian women in interracial relationships and founded Kaur Confidence Life Coaching. This occurred after I spoke about my relationship on Instagram and received a negative response. People told me I was brave to speak out about my relationship, but I should have kept it personal. On top of this, I went to business events where I spoke about my interracial relationship coaching and my relationship. South Asian women approached me after saying they were happy for me but wouldn't know how to feel if their children were with a Black partner. When I asked why, they couldn't answer.
The stigma still made me feel sick, angry and determined.
I knew I had to change this narrative and help women still suffering from this stigma in their relationships. So many South Asian women have spoken to me about feeling fear, guilt and shame and constantly worrying about their relationship. Exactly how I was at the beginning of my relationship in 2007! The impact of living a double life, in secrecy and lies, leads to experiencing mental breakdowns, emotional blockages, physical ailments and spiritual trauma. Women suffer all this because of cultural expectations and social conditioning that being with someone outside your community is wrong, especially if he is Black.
Luis and I have been together now for almost 17 years. We have grown from teenagers to adults. The journey has been incredible. We have had our fair share of ups and downs, and the key to our relationship lasting so long thus far is having trust, open and honest communication and love. I'm so excited about our next chapter as we plan to get married next year and start a family together.
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